Lousy Lausitzer

At first glance, these beers look like they come from the same brewery, but in fact the shared name simply reflects the area of Saxony they come from, the Lausitzer Bergland, nestled close to the Czech and Polish borders, where the towns of Eibau and Löbau sit. They look delicious, dark and tempting, don't they with all that talk of Dunkel, Porter and... Porter... Mmmm. My neighbour from downstairs if from the area and he had promised to bring me some German Porter, which I was bloody delighted to receive, despite warnings that it was very sweet and a "woman's beer". His words, not mine!

Anyhoo, let's start with the Lausitzer Dunkel, produce of Muench-Braeu, Eibau, makers of the pretty decent Eibauer Schwarzbier. The Dunkel is a very attractive dark brown with russet hints, but with a tragically short-lived head. The aroma is a touch jammy, with a subtle roasty, chocolatey note. The flavour? Sweet. Sweet chocolate, but with a surprisingly dry note to the finish; a roasted edge that blends with a disturbingly flat diet coke-like sweetness. Of course the first warning was on the back label: "Schankbier mit Suessungsmittel", and further down mention of "Natrium Saccharine". Noooooooo! Why? It's not as sweet as it could have been I guess, but that artificial edge to it is just disastrous.

The Lausitzer Porter is from Bergquell Brauerei Löbau, just some 16km from Eibau. This is equally as sweet as the Lausitzer Dunkel, but does not list any artificial sweeteners in the list of ingredients. It's very malty, in a malzbier way, but with a lingering sugariness and a mildly unpleasant vegetal thing going on. Frankly, I couldn't bring myself to finish the bottle. And to be completely open, this was the second bottle I had tried, the first one also defeating me with its sickly sweetness. I felt bad that my neighbour had brought this all the way from Sachsen, but then I guess he did try to warn me, in his own special way...